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Thursday, 19 April 2012

Autism....Markers....and such

When I was a very small child I had some rather quirky habits.
I had to wash my hair every single that the roots stood up straight. If the roots bent over my head hurt badly.
I had to wash my body in an almost ritualistic manner.....face four times, each arm four times, each leg four times...or I felt incomplete and off balance all day.
I could not wear tight clothing. No wool especially if it touched my skin. Scarves had to be loose. Hats as well....or better yet none at all.
From time to time I 'needed' to roll myself up in one of our 'feather ticks' TIGHTLY and completely....until the 'feeling' washed over my being and brought peace.
I had my own world...of horses....little white porcelain mares and foals in a set of eight. A gift from my sister Marlene.

 I 'owned' a stable of stick horses of all colours and breeds, kept in the back yard. One was a willow stick that sprouted and grew :) Another a horse chestnut..and a walnut. All big trees now.
As I grew older animals, cows, horses, dogs, cats, rabbits all played a role in helping to calm my energies so I didn't 'hurt'.
I was the Queen of Self Medication. I knew how to help my-self...still do.
Twiddling thumbs, stimming, rocking, hand flapping all brought a change in energy. Think about this....if I was in the presence of someone or something that created a stimulation in my 'fear' center which sits near my tailbone...I could 'raise' the location of the energy thereby changing the way it made me feel by using some or all of the aforementioned methods.....

I saw my world as moving shifting energy.
Faces were not important. In fact faces could easily lie.
Feelings were true.
How another person was feeling is what they 'looked like' to me.
If someone was angry they looked black, dark, red...muddy.
If someone was loving and kind they glowed a 'pearlescent' hue of rainbows....stardust.

What someone said had to 'fit' their 'feeling' in order for me to HEAR them!

Labels hurt..they still do, whether they be clothing labels or functioning labels.

Horses and cattle above all others including other humans brought me the most immediate feeling of calm and peace....still do.
Animals spoke the same language as me. They sent me thought was fast and timeless. Speaking meant I had to slow down the process and it 'hurt' to slow it down....

My advice to parents of young children in these days of 'labels'....
Ignore markers.
Love your babies purely and truly from your heart.
When 'fear' creeps in...YOU CHANGE...shape, colour and become a stranger in your home...and your sensitive child will respond accordingly.
He can't recognize your face...because it was never your face he was looking at to start with! It was YOU..the whole YOU....and YOU are gone when love shifts to fear...and YOU return when LOVE returns....
Be Love and be well.

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